October 8, 2012

Not a Celebrity Pastor's Wife? That's Okay.

Last week, I got an email from a pastor's wife who had hosted a well-known pastor at her church. The visiting pastor seemed to have it all together: a passion for his calling, a successful track record, and an aura of disdain for anyone who hadn't quite reached his level.

People who are well-known are not necessarily seeking fame. And God often uses famous people to accomplish great good. (Ever heard of Charles Spurgeon?) We ought to be thankful wherever we see Christ's name proclaimed.

But this woman’s experience had left her wondering whether she, a small-church, small-town ministry wife, was really contributing to God's kingdom.

Ordinary women, being relational creatures, often see well-known men and women in ministry--the ones who write books, speak at conferences, launch ministries, or are married to people who do--and retreat into feelings of worthlessness.

Stop it. Right. Now.

Here I offer 10 encouragements for ordinariness--10 good reasons to be happy being the woman of God whose name is unknown and whose deeds are unglamorous.

(1) It would be tough to be a celebrity. You are thankful for women who can influence many others through their words and lives, but you probably don’t want to be them. An ordinary pastor’s wife is not constantly expected to be, as my mom put it, “witty, pretty, and wise.”

(2)Some work can be done only by ordinary people. You get to serve on the nursery rotation. Befriend junior high students. Make a casserole for every new mother in your church. What do you value most in other Christians? Cheerful dependability in the small stuff? Be that.

(3)The lowly paths cultivate godly virtues. Just as a rich man and a poor man can both be greedy, a celebrity and an unknown can both idolize applause. God didn’t give you a pass on pride, but He did graciously give you practice in humility.

(4)These good works have been prepared in advance for you to do. Read Ephesians 2:10. You are not ordinary because God forgot to make you famous. You are ordinary because, from the beginning of time, He had good works planned for you to do. Right. Where. You. Are.

(5) There are no unnecessary parts in Christ's body. Just as you wouldn’t want the people in your church to feel expendable because they aren’t teachers or preachers, ordinary ministry wives are not expendable in God’s wider kingdom. I Corinthians 12:22: “the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.”

(6)Ordinary women have an opportunity to know and be known. Dusty furniture and all.

(7) Your influence will be huge. . . on a few people. The women in your church will benefit from your simple, daily, godly example. Like mothering your own children, it’s vital, and. . .

(8) Luke 15:7: Even one soul has an infinite value.

(9) There is heavenly reward for earthly anonymity. Secret deeds are seen and rewarded by an unseen Father. (Matthew 6:1-18)

(10) Christ's earthly ministry was one of obscurity and humility. You are in good company.

May we all be, as the hymn says, "content to fill a little space if Thou be glorified."


  1. Thanks for the encouragement. I especially like #4 because it points to the personal aspect of my relationship with God. He knows me, knows what is best for me to do and equips me for it.

  2. Thanks for your posts, I dont' get time to comment often but rest assured I read them all and are encouraged by it! (signed by a pastor's wife in training!)

  3. Thank you for this, Megan! I often struggle with this as someone married to a very talented person, I often wonder what I am doing for the kingdom. This is a great reminder that whatever God has called me to do, whether anyone sees it or not, is for His glory and His kingdom. And it's an encouragement to think more in terms of doing things for Him, which helps me not to be afraid of doing things for other people in His name!

  4. Thank you Megan. That is a great article. I have struggled with that internal pressure to measure up to whatever seems to be the great pastor's wife at the time and often forget that my calling is in little things like cooking dinner and kissing boo boos. Heather


Join the conversation!
All comments become the property of Sunday Women.

COMMENTING HINTS: If you are baffled by the "Comment As_____" choices, you can simply select "Anonymous" and include your name in the comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...