I had the privilege of leading (or co-leading) several sessions at TGCW16 this week. I'm thankful for each of my sisters who attended those sessions, and--as promised--I'm posting links here to the resources I mentioned in my presentations. If you have follow-up questions or comments, you can always email me: megan@sundaywomen.com
When Women Pray Together (Megan Hill)
Friday, June 17, 2016, 4:30 PM
My book, Praying Together, was the basis for the material in my session. You can find it here:
Praying Together: The Priority and Privilege of Prayer in Our Homes, Communities, and Churches
Donald S. Whitney made the observation I quoted (about praying for other people v. praying with them) in his book:
Spiritual Disciplines within the Church
Praying systematically through the nations of the world (and the church in those nations) has been one of the greatest privileges of my corporate prayer life. This book helpfully assigns the countries to each day of the year:
Operation World
Getting Published without Selling Your Soul (Megan Hill)
Friday, June 17, 2016, 9:15 PM
One more story about the winding road to getting published from Gaye Clark:
Dreams Deferred and No Regrets
Bret Lott's "On Precision" is my favorite short piece about the craft of writing and its importance before the face of God. You can read that chapter in his book:
Letters and Life
The National Writing Project offers a way to structure group feedback on writing, including the "Bless, Address, Press" formula I mentioned:
Guidelines for Response Groups
Tim Challies knows a thing or two about platform, and his post about the dangers of idolizing the numbers is worth reading:
No Platform High Enough
Charity Singleton Craig's site is full of valuable nuggets about the writing life. This is her post about being "famous to the family":
Almost Famous: Who Am I Trying to Become?
Melissa B. Kruger's The Envy of Eve is both gracious and challenging as we seek to root out covetousness in our hearts. I review it here:
I Have Learned to Be Content
Jared C. Wilson had a useful article recently giving answers to some FAQs:
Everything You (Might Have) Wanted to Know about Writing and Publishing
Margot Starbuck is a writing coach whose conference seminar on non-fiction book proposals was extremely helpful to me as I prepared my first book proposal. You can download her (free!) annotated book proposal template at the bottom of this page:
Top Ten Tips for Creating Book Proposals
Word-Filled Writing (Gloria Furman, et. al.)
Friday, June 17, 2016, 1:30 PM
Marilynne Robinson said, "I hope I never condescend to
the audience. I think you should write as if people who are smarter than you
are will read it." That quote comes from this article:
Marilynne Robinson: the Pulitzer Prize winning author on her new book
Any of the resources I mention above ("Getting Published") would also be helpful to those who were part of my workshop group.
This is a guest post written by a pastor's wife who has experienced several transitions; she preferred to write anonymously as one still seeking and finding grace in the midst of uncertain circumstances.
How do you handle a ministry job that seems so unstable? How do you live in a situation where you feel your husband’s job won’t last and you’ll end up moving again?
These were questions a reader had, and they are questions I do as well.
Let me tell you a little of my story as I begin.
I have been a pastor’s wife for almost ten years and have been blessed with four children eight and under. We are in our third church position in a small town, and my husband has always been a solo pastor. The first church was “not a good fit” as we might say in the South, and we were only there for two years. My husband spent two years pursuing another degree and took a job outside of ministry. Then we were called to a country church that came on hard financial times after five years and lost our job last year. My husband is now in an interim pastor position at a church as we wait on a permanent call.
I am asking God to help me live here, in the moment, knowing we could be here a few months or years.
None of us know the will of God for our lives. None of us know the future, but God calls us to live where He has us right now, and He will give us the grace to do just what He calls us to do.
I understand not knowing if a place is permanent. We had to leave one church over tension (“not a good fit”) and then one over money problems. I know what it is like to ask your husband if he still has a job after he comes home from a leadership meeting. I know what it is like to not want to commit to things in the church or community because you think you may be gone soon. I know what it is like to be jealous of others in ministry in churches that seem to adore their husbands and their job seems so secure.
I know what it is like to face the facts that ministry for us has not been exactly what we thought it might be.
Unfortunately my ugly heart of discontentment, jealousy, and fear lurks its head sometimes, much of the time. It is not pretty, but it is forgiven. It is washed clean and God is letting me know through His Word that His path for my family has been what we have needed and need. My husband and I have had to look at our own hearts before the Lord and be real with our hurts, sins, and longings.
I believe we both know Jesus better because things have been difficult at times. Isn’t that what God wants, for us to really know Him? Praise God for the good and the hard times.
Our faithfulness in the uncertainties glorifies Him.
I was hesitant to write this article because even today I struggle with these questions. I struggle with wanting my ministry life to be stable, comfortable, and secure. I long to own a home (we have lived in three church houses now) and paint the walls the colors I would like to paint them. I want to be in a place that my kids say, “I grew up there.”
This is what I want, yet God’s Word does not promise a secure job in ministry, a permanent home, it promises a heavenly city that He has prepared for us (Hebrews 11:13). He calls us to lay aside every weight, and sin which so easily ensnares us, and to run the race, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12). God’s Word promises us Jesus when we put our faith in Him, and He will finish what He has started in our hearts.
Stay grounded in His Word and in His unchanging promises.
I am learning that God’s plan is bigger than all we think is going on. He is molding our and our husband’s hearts into something beautiful. He is taking hearts that want to say we are hurt and afraid, we want something different, to saying we want what God wants. We want Him to be glorified. It is impossible for Him to not be working good in this hard situation in our lives. Even today, by His grace I thanked Him for all the trials, all the tears. I know He is up to something big.
God wants me to be living where things seem unstable right now to find my strength in Him. The missionary Jim Elliot that died a martyr for Christ said this, “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
You do not know what tomorrow brings, but you are called to serve the people in your path where you are planted right now.
I say, plant your garden where you now live. Get involved in people’s lives. If you are there for a season, you can say you poured your life into the people there. People may come to Christ in this time and they will be changed forever. You serve God right where He has you.
Today is one of the first days in a long time I have been joyous over our rocky year. I see God doing a work in me to want more of Him. I am so thankful.
I want to be joyous in Him today.
I know that tomorrow I will more than likely be looking at all the mess I see in my life, in the uncertainties and the longings I have for our future, and I will again need to look to Jesus. I will remind myself that I am not in control as I unclasp my hands off of yet another problem I am trying to fix. He is in control, He knows what He is doing, we trust Him, and by His grace can serve where we are right now.
I have had a wide range of emotions in our conflicts in ministry, but I have always seen God work them out and I have grown through them.
I encourage you to not let this time be wasted. See this as a time where He is calling you to trust a little more. Don’t hope so much in security of a ministry job that you miss what God is teaching your heart.
He will take care of you, He promises He will and in this time He may have some wonderful things to teach you.
Last week, we posted a reader question about ministry burn-out. This prompted another reader to ask a question about what to do when others are tired and weak:
"How do you help your congregation when they are burnt out? Seriously, It seems like they get burned out in their lives and start to drop out of helping or coming or whatever, then that triggers our burn out. When they get burned out they don't seem to want to hear the Word, they want entertainment. They seem to change like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde."
Let us know how you encourage people when enthusiasm is flagging.
If you have a question you'd like us to post (we'll remove your name), you can contact us.
A reader asked: How do you deal with ministry burnout? And the discouragement that comes from the fact of feeling burnt out in the first place...guilt, that it doesn't bring glory to the Lord, not good enough for ministry if I can't 'handle it'...
What are your thoughts on dealing with ministry burnout?
If you have a question of your own that you'd like us to post, please contact us.
More on this topic:
What's Your Ministry Burn-Out Profile?
Four types of burn-out and four solutions from Scripture.
Why I'm Glad "I Have To"
I have not been placed in ministry life because I am among the few and the proud. I have been placed in ministry life because I am weak.
Ministry Wives Need Ministry, Too
A hurting pastor’s
wife is a hurting church member. She needs the Body to minister to her.
A reader asked:
One area of concern in our church family is a void of older Christian men serving in the leadership roles. It seems the default solution to this void is to ask younger men (those with wives and young children) to serve. As a wife of a lay elder, with 4 young children, how do I reconcile my husband's gifts of leadership and love for the local church (and my desire to encourage him in these areas) with my view that if the older men in the church were serving in these roles my husband would be "freed up" to be more present and passionate about life at home (when our young children are most influenced by their father and mother)? Am I being selfish and narrow-focused with my desires? I would welcome some perspective and wisdom.
What are your thoughts on leading vs. encouraging others to take the lead?
If you have a question of your own that you'd like us to post, please contact us.
One reader asked:
What are your words of wisdom to a minister's wife-to-be who wants to grow in her fear of the Lord and decrease in her fear of man? What a determent to my husband's ministry I would be if my underlying motive were to be a people pleaser rather than a God pleaser. Only the Holy Spirit's progressive sanctifying influence can change my heart in this matter, but perhaps you can encourage me on the way.
What's your advice? How do you avoid people-pleasing?
If you have a question that you'd like us to post, you can always contact us, too.
Cue the confetti! We have a winner for our May 2011 Questions Contest! An Amazon e-gift card is virtually winging its way to her as I type. Congratulations! Thanks to everyone who submitted such challenging and thought-provoking questions about ministry life. Starting today, Sunday Women will regularly post these queries for all of you to answer. Share your wisdom. Limber up those wrists and start answering this runner-up question in the Comments section. Thanks.
Question: How do you have a close friend when you are the Pastor's wife? I have struggled with this for 33 years. I really don't have a close friend in the church.
We think you know a lot about ministry life. You've had crazy experiences, been knocked on your knees, rejoiced frequently, and cried, too. You know some stuff.
But we're also betting there's that one little question bugging you.
The one that starts:
How on earth can I ______ when I don't _______?
Yikes! I______. Now what?
When my kids ________, what are my options?
I feel ________. Does anyone else feel this way?
If you've got one of these, or another one of your own, contact us or leave a comment before you pack your Memorial Day picnic.
Full details (there's a prize!) and fine print here.
Got ministry life questions? Contact us or leave a comment with your best ones. Make them really challenging; we know you can. Sunday Women will enter all questions submitted by May 31, 2011 into a random drawing for a $10 Amazon e-certificate. How cool is that?
Got answers? Each week we will post a new question (without any of the author's personal information) for everyone to answer in the Comment section.
You may ask questions at any time, but submit them during May to be eligible for the prize.
Fine Print: No question will be deemed too difficult by the bloggers. However, answers may vary.
By chosing a winner randomly from the pool of entries, Sunday Women demonstrates equal opportunity for the non-Calvinist.
Any reference in questions to any person, dead or alive, is purely coincidental.
This monetary offer is for a limited time only. After all, we are on ministry salaries.
Authors are encouraged to submit questions after May 31, 2011. However, no prize is guaranteed. Can't you just do it for the fun of it?
