September 21, 2015

4 Questions to Ask an Older Woman

In a youth-oriented world, woman can feel like we are becoming "invisible" as we age, especially if we stop dying our hair. We still love life and feel that we have something to contribute, but we older women don't have much influence. And, even if we use a hair coloring product, no one is constantly checking Instagram to see what we did two minutes ago.

This is a paradox. Does our age somehow disqualify us for what our age requires us to do? Older Christian women are commanded by the Bible (Titus 2:3-5) to teach what is good and to train younger woman. Some of our teaching is by words, such as speaking up for sound doctrine, and much of it is by our example, like being self-controlled and submissive to our husbands.

In spite of the Titus mandate, we older women are sometimes hesitant to say or do anything because:
1) We hear horror stories of well-intentioned women who offer unsolicited advice to others, and it is not welcomed. We are afraid that our motives could be misunderstood.
2) We are aware that our Christian life/love of husband/parenting skill/knowledge of the Word is not all that it should be. We feel that we are inadequate trainers.

So when you talk to an older woman, you could help her fulfill one of her life purposes if you ask her questions that allow her to give advice and encouragement. This is a win-win situation. The older woman gets to share something from her Christian experience. This exchange helps both of you obey God. Hopefully, the two of you are encouraged in the process.

Here are my suggested questions for older women.

1) I was challenged by something from a recent sermon (or in a book or that I heard) and want to apply it to my life. Do you have any practical ideas?
Because an older woman has more experience in assimilating God's word into her life, her answer can put you on the right track to obedience. If she has never pondered that issue, she will be stimulated to think about it with you. As a result, you both grow. (Proverbs 27:17)

2) Did you ever find it hard to get along with your husband (or your child or another believer)? How did you resolve it?
The answer to this question will help you see older women as human with sin like everyone else. But, you will realize that you are not alone in this long process called sanctification. If the answer points you to Christ, you find that living for Him is totally worth it. You will have hope. (I Corinthians 6:11)

3) What is one thing you had to learn the hard way?
A loving older woman will want to spare others the pain she experienced as a result of rebelling against God. If you receive a warning from her, please don't assume that she dislikes you and is out to get you. God might be using this woman to show His love to you. (Proverbs 3:12)

4) When did you join the church? What positive changes have you seen during that time?
An older woman who has persevered in a church for years receives many blessings and endures some hard times. The positive that she sees will help you through the difficulties that you encounter. She might be able to help you see that you are making a difference there. (Romans 5:3-5)

More in this series:
4 Questions to Ask a Stay-At-Home-Mom
4 Questions to Ask a Child
4 Questions to Ask College Students
4 Questions to Ask Your Pastor


  1. As an in-between (young in some groups, old in others) woman, I realize how much humility it takes to ask and answer questions like these. Our fellowship would certainly be sweeter for attempting it. Thank you.

    1. in some ways, I think even women of my age think they are not old enough or wise enough to be the older women. But, the time when you are truly younger is a good stage to reflect on how you can be helpful when you are older.

  2. When I was younger, I noticed the reserve of older women and began seeking them out with my questions. Always a blessing. We also started a Sunday School series where a different older woman was invited to speak and share her experience. I have never forgotten their stories.

    1. Unknown, I agree that most older women have a certain reserve. You have great ideas for drawing them out. Thanks for your comments.

  3. Hey there! I just finished reading your article on Sunday Women, and I couldn't help but leave a comment to express how much I enjoyed it. First off, kudos to you for tackling such an interesting topic. The questions to ask an older woman that you outlined are not only. And Your writing style is so engaging that it felt like I was having a casual chat with a friend rather than reading an article. By the way, I appreciate the seamless inclusion of keywords like " linguistics homework help." it's a clever way to provide additional value to your readers.


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