How do you have a friend who is also in your church?
Over the six-plus months that we have been writing Sunday Women, you, our readers, keep asking us this question. You send us emails (which we love!) you post comments (which we love, too!) and you meet us in person with the same question about friendship. It has different variations, of course: How do I have a close friend? Can I foster a friendship without slighting others? How do I find a friend?
You know that friendship isn’t all about you. You know that it’s also about giving. But, sometimes, you just want a kindred spirit.
We hear you.
And when my mom and I have a “blog summit” on the phone together (usually on session meeting nights when our husbands have gone off, leaving us to debate between writing for the blog and going to the gym) we keep coming back to your question.
How do you have a friend when you are a Sunday Woman?
How do you share a cup of tea, a burden of your heart, an inside joke? How do you have a friend who will let you admit that your husband snores and who will love you when your angry son doesn’t seem to?
The bloggy lot has fallen to me to post an answer:
I don’t know.
I don’t have a BFF (except my long-suffering husband, who doesn’t really count when it comes to “should I start coloring my hair?”) There is no one particular woman in my life who is shopping buddy, lunch date, and exercise partner.
But. . .
If I step back and take the wide-angle view, I am not lacking. I have Carol, who prays big prayers with and for me (almost) every Tuesday. I have Jessica, who shares with me her lunch hour and her creative personality. I have Carla who helps me wrestle my kids into the pew and worships beside me on Sundays. I have Julia and Kaylee and Emily who catch me up on what the cool young things are into these days, and Mable and Jimmie who remind me that pilgrimage is a long-distance race.
I might be missing out on a special kind of exclusive friendship. (And if anyone has a suggestion, please leave me a comment!) But I can also see the Lord meeting many of my needs: one woman, one smile, one hug at a time.