April 16, 2012

Forceful Women I Have Known

Some of the actions of forceful women unnerve me. They seem to know exactly what they want and how I am standing in their way. I am tempted to withhold the Christ-like love I should be giving and respond in a passive resistant manner. I need to understand that women who are without Christ may feel that it is their job to make their own reality. Sometimes they do it by force.

I have known some pretty forceful women. As I look at what drives them, I recognize that they need the same things that I do…God’s love and the love of others.  I want to cultivate a ministry of love in their lives. Note: The names are changed; none of these women are currently in my church.

The Fighter
Jennifer knew she was attracted to her husband when they first met over an argument. This forceful woman talks about the superiority of her lifestyle choices and the importance of not adhering to any religion. However, her definite ideas change regularly. Jennifer’s life seems devoid of stability.
How do I show her Christ? I don’t fight back or argue. Instead, I try to show that I serve
the eternal, unchangeable God. I attend an event that is important to her. I discover her crying alone and hug her without saying very much at all. I attempt to give her consistent love.

Miss Insecure
Amanda receives awards and rewards because she is so intelligent, accomplished and dedicated.  Deep inside herself, she doubts her worth. But whenever she is in public or with an important person, she talks in detail about how much effort she puts into her career.  Amanda seems to be saying, “Love me. Love me!”
How do I show her Christ? I don’t compete with her. Instead, I try to demonstrate that I am secure in knowing Christ and His peace. I willingly assist in her projects without taking credit. I offer to help in any way that I can when she shows signs of stress.

Excitable Girl
Nicole acts like the whole world is against her. She rants that she can’t believe that so and so did such and such to make her life so difficult.  Sometimes, she directs her displeasure at individuals without getting the facts straight. Those who know Nicole best ignore her frequent threats.
How do I show her Christ? I don’t ignore her. Instead, I remember God’s wisdom that says a soft answer turns away wrath.  I ask questions to find out what she needs to accomplish and how I fit into that. I state the facts in a controlled manner and try to love her.

The Princess
Erin wants attention. She is a generous person and gives beyond what she can afford. Sometimes, it appears that she uses her giving nature to buy friendship. Erin wants more from people, including their secrets. She needs boundaries in her life.
How do I show her Christ? I don’t give in to her pushy demands. Instead, I try to give Christ’s love, which does not mean always giving a person exactly what she wants. I greet her warmly, and I am interested in her life and concerns. I encourage her to live within her means and listen to her husband.

Forceful women may appear to have it all together, but they still need Christ. I hope to reflect His nature in my life and show forth His love. I believe that without Him, there is no lasting certainty, security, peace or self-control.


  1. Give me a forceful man to deal with anyday!
    --anonymous male.

  2. Here in the South, I recognize these women as steel magnolias! Beautiful on the big screen, but a bit prickly in real life. . . .

  3. Excellent article. Thanks.

  4. Thank you for sharing - what a good encouragement to share Christ even when it is difficult and how showing Christ's love looks different depending on the situation.

  5. I found myself trying to figure out which one I am! This is a great article, and I'm going to put it in my "read frequently" folder, if I can only find it. :)


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